Helping Families through Emergencies

Notifying a family of the worst possible news is a difficult and delicate task, one that takes the right person and one that should be done immediately, advised Gina Shealy, emergency operations manager at Fireside Partners.

“You don’t want to be an expert at that,” she told attendees at the Air Charter Safety Foundation’s 2026 Safety Summit. Interacting with the family is difficult, Shealy said, noting that this is true even after she has done dozens of different notifications.

But even if an organization doesn’t have many details, the family must be notified right away. “That is better than you sitting on it and waiting for hours before family members are notified. If we’re going to wait till we gather all the facts, it’s already out there. So do the responsible thing and just notify.”

Having the right people in the family assistance programs is critical, Shealy emphasized. She asked how many attendees don’t like people. “Guess what? Please don’t do notifications calls or work with families. If you get very irritated by having to repeat yourself, you’re doing the wrong thing.”

Also, she advised against having someone who speaks in rules and regulations as the contact person. “It is a completely different language. Don’t just assume they know what all the acronyms mean. Do you know what all the acronyms mean?”

Another caution: people who may be too eager to notify. Perhaps they are trying to make up for their own past and bring their own experiences to the situation. Each one is different and needs to be approached that way.

When notifying, Shealy cautioned against treating the families like they are not smart or that they are broken. “They’re not dumb. It’s just that this is a shock to the system. So be respectful of that.” Let the family members lead.

She’s learned to never ask how they are or what they need. Shealy got an answer once to those questions: “I need your airline to not have killed my wife.” Instead, she asks, “‘What are you most concerned about? What is worrying you most right now?’ I’ve heard everything from, ‘I don’t know if I can pay the bills’ to ‘Can I buy my kids Chick-fil-A?’ It’s all over the place.”

Start with a little thing that worries the family members and take it off their shoulders. “There’s no quick start guide,” she said. “You’ve got names, you’ve got titles, you’ve got agencies coming at them right and left, none of that matters. What matters is their loved ones not coming home anymore ever again.”

She further advised that people in a position to notify must make sure that the focus stays on the family rather than themselves. “You need to get out of your own head with a lot of the notifications. It’s not about you. It’s about doing the right thing for those families involved.”

One such family member in attendance at the event emphasized that message. Sheri Lilley, whose stepson Sam Lilley was the first officer aboard the PSA Airlines CRJ700 that was involved in the midair collision near Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport last year, noted how she “unfortunately has been the recipient of Gina’s services.” 

Flexjet, the employer of her husband Tim Lilley, activated its ERP even though it did not have to, and Sheri Lilley noted that Shealy was a part of this. “You do have to realize people are in shock, and like Gina said, you’ve got to tailor your response to what those individuals need. You cannot follow a checklist and go through points one through 10 sequentially because it’s going to be different for every family.”

She noted that it was difficult to grasp it all. “Family members are not going to remember the names of the people they are interacting with if they didn’t know you previously,” she said. “So, you need to give them some paperwork to take away. Overcommunicate. Tell them, ‘You don’t need to read all this right now.’” Emphasize this isn’t homework but a resource.

When family members go onsite, they pack a suitcase with about one-tenth of what they need, she added. “They have no idea what they’re getting into, how long they’ll be there.” Lilley praised Shealy for helping them through that. “Gina did some beautiful things for us.”

Lilley also stressed that she is working to improve family notifications. “Meet those family members where they are and give them what they need,” she added. “Some people are going to go away after your initial notification, and they never want to see you again, so you need to respect that too.”