AINsight: Uprooting Your Kids May Be the Best Landing

I hear this more now from candidates than I used to, and it almost always comes at the same point in the conversation.

We’ve talked through the role. The candidate is qualified, the client is strong, and you can tell they’re leaning in because this is the kind of position they’ve been working toward—often with a top-tier flight department and a serious operation.

Then I mention the location and, just like that, the conversation shifts. “I can’t do it,” they say. “My kids are in high school. Call me in a couple of years.”

I understand that instinct. I raised a family, too. But after more than 20 years doing this, I’ve seen how that decision plays out.

The candidate stays put, the job goes to someone else, and a few years later they’re still in the same seat—often having missed meaningful career growth, escalated earnings, and opportunities that never circled back around.

Trust me, “Call me in a couple of years” almost never works out the way people think it will.

Somebody once told me, “The good jobs aren’t there when you need them. The good jobs are there when they need you.” In the business aviation industry, that is absolutely true!

As a recruiter, I stay in touch with the families who did make the move—even those who brought along ninth- and 10th-graders who were not happy about it at the time—and later on, they’re telling a very different story. It worked out—often better than they expected.

In fact, one director we placed years ago told me, “Our kids fought us the entire way, but now that they’re in their 20s, they’ll tell you it changed their lives—for the better.”

I’ve heard that enough times that I don’t dismiss it.

The Long Game Matters

Relocation isn’t easy. The challenge is that most families evaluate relocation emotionally in the short term instead of strategically over the long term.

Maybe you’re asking a teenager to leave friends, routines, and a place where they feel settled. But in my experience, the bigger issue is whether a family is thinking long term or reacting to short-term discomfort. Sometimes, a little short-term pain creates significant long-term gain for the entire family.

Families that make a clear, deliberate move tend to do just fine. In the majority of cases, the kids end up thriving.

In my experience, the families who handle relocation best are the ones where the parents stay focused on the long game. School-aged kids may not like the move initially, but when parents approach it with clarity and confidence instead of anxiety, kids usually adapt far faster than expected.

And in business aviation, those decisions can have very real long-term consequences.

I recently worked with a candidate who had the opportunity to move into a significantly stronger role out of state after losing his position locally. Instead, because his children were established in school, he chose a lesser role closer to home with limited advancement opportunities and a commuter schedule that still kept him away from his family. In the short term, the decision felt easier. Over the long term, it likely cost him substantial career growth, earnings potential, and quality of life.

That is the tradeoff families have to evaluate honestly.

Sometimes you relocate because the opportunity is simply too significant to ignore. Other times, you relocate because a position disappears and there is nothing comparable nearby. The question becomes whether you stay put and accept something less, or whether you stretch for the opportunity that could change your long-term trajectory.

There’s another side to these decisions that families do not always talk about openly. If one parent feels professionally stuck, underutilized, or unable to grow over the long term, that eventually affects the entire household, too.

Don’t Confuse Fear with Outcome

Here’s where many parents struggle most: letting fear rule decisions.

Talk to your kids, but do not assume the answer for them—or let them make the decision for the family. Teenagers should absolutely have a voice in the conversation, but parents still have to make long-term decisions based on career growth, financial opportunity, and what is best for the family as a whole.

And there can be advantages to being the new kid. Teenagers often walk into a new environment with a chance to redefine themselves, meet new people, and expand beyond the social ecosystems they grew up in. What feels intimidating at first can become incredibly formative.

We worked with a family a few years ago who moved their 10th-grade son from a small town in the southeast to outside a major northeastern city. The teen was frightened and intimidated about leaving the security of everything he knew, and his parents questioned whether they had made the right decision.

A year later, it was a completely different story. He had stronger academics, more opportunities for college, and a much broader view of the world than he would otherwise. Now, he’s studying aerospace engineering, and his mother told me not long ago that the move changed the trajectory of their lives for the better.

Not every situation lands that cleanly, but more of them work than people expect when the move is made with clarity and support.

Yes, relocation is hard. But, as a family, you need to decide whether you’re reacting to short-term fear or focusing on the future that you’re trying to build.

One way or another, time moves forward. Your children will eventually move on to the next stage of their lives. The opportunities that could significantly change your career may not still be there waiting when that happens.

Sometimes the move families fear most ends up being the decision that changes their trajectory for the better.